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Lami Phillips counsels singles on marriage

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Singer Lami Phillips has revealed some things which single people need to put into consideration before they decide on who to get married to.

The singer who has been married for 15 years advised singles to know who they want to get married to and also the reason why they are making such a decision.

Lami Phillips also advised singles not to allow themselves to be pressured into marriage and that they should “marry the person God reveals” to them.

The singer’s advice was inspired by a post shared by former First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, which spoke about what marriage thought her.

She shared on Instagram: “Quick Nuggets on this thing called Marriage:

1. Be clear on your why: don’t get married because of pressure or time or even love. Get married because you have an unshakable conviction that that is the person you’re supposed to do life with, the person whose purpose is aligned with yours. The person created for you and you for that person.

2. Be clear on your who: it’s not about how you feel. Feelings come and go. Feelings are unreliable. Who is this person? When people aren’t watching, who is this person? What are the person’s fears, hopes, dreams, insecurities? What makes this person want to be better? What drives this person? What does this person struggle with and why? Who is this person? Don’t marry who they appear to be, marry the person God reveals your you. May God enlighten your eyes to see what only the soul and spirit can see.

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3. Know this: commitment outweighs the feeling of love. That gangsta drive that says “it’s us till we stop breathing”. The commitment that says “ I see you and I love you anyway”. The commitment that believes beyond the shadow of the doubt that this person deserves you and you are so blessed to be deserving of the person. The commitment that knows you need grace to truly love; the commitment that knows that outside of grace you can’t do it. The commitment that depends on taking off the layers and seeing each other as you truly are. The commitment that goes way beyond sex and money or even the lack of it thereof. The commitment that is founded on true friendship. Commitment that doesn’t care about tall or short, fat or slim, yellow or dark-skinned. All those things can change because life is funny that way. Health challenges can change the thing that was making you weak in the knees. Having children can change your body and your emotional architecture. Career fluctuations can change your flossing status and the money that enticed you may pause for a minute. Commitment to love beyond the feelings and in spite of the chaos. Commitment to say: we are on the same side and we are a team.

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4. Enjoy the journey, marry someone you can laugh with even when you have no visible/logical reason to laugh. Marry someone who has pure joy.”

 

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Quick Nuggets on this thing called Marriage: 1. Be clear on your why: don’t get married because of pressure or time or even love. Get married because you have an unshakable conviction that that is the person you’re supposed to do life with, the person whose purpose is aligned with yours. The person created for you and you for that person. 2. Be clear on your who: it’s not about how you feel. Feelings come and go. Feelings are unreliable. Who is this person ? When people aren’t watching, who is this person? What are the persons fears, hopes, dreams, insecurities? What makes this person want to be better? What drives this person? What does this person struggle with and why? Who is this person? Don’t marry who they appear to be, marry the person God reveals your you. May God enlighten your eyes to see what only the soul and spirit can see. 3. Know this: commitment outweighs the feeling of love. That gangsta drive that says “it’s us till we stop breathing”. The commitment that says “ I see you and I love you anyway”. The commitment that believes beyond the shadow of the doubt that this person deserves you and you are so blessed to be deserving of the person. The commitment that knows you need grace to truly love; the commitment that knows that outside of grace you can’t do it. The commitment that depends on taking off the layers and seeing each other as you truly are. The commitment that goes way beyond sex and money or even the lack of it thereof. The commitment that is founded on a true friendship. Commitment that doesn’t care about tall or short , fat or slim, yellow or dark skinned. All those things can change because life is funny that way. Health challenges can change the thing that was making you weak in the knees. Having children can change your body and your emotional architecture. Career fluctuations can change your flossing status and the money that enticed you may pause for a minute. Commitment to love beyond the feelings and in spite of the chaos. Commitment to say: we are on the same side and we are a team. 4. Enjoy the journey, marry someone you can laugh with even when you have no visible/logical reason to laugh. Marry someone who has pure joy.

A post shared by Lami Phillips-Gbadamosi (@lamiphillipsworld) on



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