There was a valentine’s day I was dead broke. No money, not a penny. I decided to cook my partner’s favourite food – boiled yam and fried eggs. I’m a good cook if I do say so myself. Before that day, I really don’t remember the last time I saw her that happy. This was my epiphany – if such a simple gesture of romance meant so much to her, I don’t always have to go all the way to put a smile on her face.
Maybe as a guy, you don’t have time for ‘rubbish’ in the name of romance or you just feel it’s all a façade, let me just tell you to stop! Stop being selfish. Being romantic does not take away your fragile masculinity. On the contrary, it reinforces your emotional intelligence. Makes you human as anyone in love.
You should drop that act of doing the barest minimum and expecting full commitment from your partner. It doesn’t work that way, someone will always end up with the short end of the stick. Remember, the energy you give is what you receive.
Things You Can Do This Valentine
1. Create Time:
This may seem cliché but a lot of people hardly have time for their partners. Sometimes, you get so caught up in your day-to-day activities that the neglect that one person who cares about you. Try to create time out of your busy schedule to check on your partner. A quick 1-2-minute call wouldn’t be a bad idea, and if you can’t, you can always send a text message. Above all, let them know they’re important to you.
Go out on a date: The list of things you can do is not exhaustive; movie date, eat out in a fancy restaurant, visit places where you can explore nature. You can even decide to spend a night or two in a hotel. Just do something that is not an everyday thing for you.
2. Listen:
One of the ways you can show you care is to listen to your partner. Encourage them to talk to you, Is it a long day? Talk about it. Did someone do him or her wrong? Ask about it. When your partner notices that you pay attention to them, they trust and open up to you more. Note that a true way to show you’re attentive is by dropping all electronic devices and giving them undivided attention.
3. Gifts:
One of the ways to show your partner you really care is by giving them something special. Not the cliché underwear exchange. I usually hear people say they don’t have enough money to buy what their heart desires for their partner, I feel so bad because it’s not always all about buying expensive things. Buy something simple but meaningful. A cone of ice cream, an earring, a wristwatch, replace those faulty earphones, buy a phone case cover, make their favourite dish, just to name a few things.
If you don’t know what to give, there are two ways to go about finding out:
Direct Method: This is easy, just ask them what they want. And if you can’t afford it, negotiate for something less expensive but presentable. Think outside the box, make it worthwhile.
Indirect Method: This is my favourite. I like surprising people, so I tend to make a total surprise. One thing I do is that I plan way ahead of time. I casually ask my partner what she wants, in fact, at times I’ll bait her by sending links of things I know she likes, she will, in turn, send back the ones she really likes. I take note and the rest is about presenting it to her later.
Kindly note that whatever you’re giving your partner should not be tacky. Cheap doesn’t mean worthless.
I know you’re planning on buying that red coloured shirt for Valentine’s day, don’t. Don’t bother with the red shoes or pants either. Please, don’t be a native doctor this year.
Remember, celebrating and appreciating your partner shouldn’t be for special occasions like Valentine’s and birthdays alone. It should be a continuous process. After all, a relationship is like a blossoming flower, if you don’t water it, it would wither.
