Maha Christopher
Actress, writer, and producer Lena Waithe has opened up about her short lived marriage to ex wife Alana Mayo, saying the union was more about honouring their relationship than pursuing her own happiness.
According to People, Waithe made the revelation during an appearance on the Armchair Expert podcast hosted by Dax Shepard.
The Emmy Award winner said her marriage to Mayo, which lasted just two months before the couple announced their separation in January 2020, had a profound impact on her life despite its brevity.
Reflecting on the relationship, Waithe admitted she remained committed to the idea of making the marriage work even when she was struggling with her own feelings.
“I just didn’t have the language or understanding of that,” she said, explaining that at the time it felt as though her personal happiness was less important than preserving the relationship.
The Master of None star said she later realised that she and Mayo wanted different things, particularly regarding having children.
“We wanted different things,” Waithe said, describing the issue as a significant turning point in the relationship.
She acknowledged that she spent a long time trying to understand what she truly wanted from life rather than making a deliberate decision.
“It wasn’t me lying. It was me still trying to understand what I wanted and who I wanted to be,” she said.
Looking back, Waithe described the breakdown of the marriage as a “car crash” and admitted she could have handled the situation better.
“I wish I could have landed the plane better,” she said.
The filmmaker added that she has since learned important lessons about love, self awareness and personal growth, stressing that genuine love sometimes means allowing someone else to find happiness apart from you.
“And that to me is how you know you really love somebody, is that when you want them to be happy and happier without you,” Waithe said.
Waithe and Mayo began dating in 2014, became engaged in 2017 and secretly married in 2019 before separating two months later. Their divorce was finalised in 2021. In 2022, Waithe confirmed she was in a relationship with actress and singer Cynthia Erivo.
