You know you’re a true Nigerian when you’ve had a love-hate relationship with Garri, or as we lovingly call it, G4, Garium Sulfite, or its new alter ego, “Groceries“! 

 

That versatile friend is always there for you, even though it might be secretly plotting against your eyesight. You go explain explain because no evidence

 

Groceries, also known as G4 or Garium Sulfite, the unsung hero of Nigerian cuisine, should come with its own theme song. 

 

Whenever your wallet is flatter than a deflated balloon, and your stomach sounds like a choir of hungry hyenas, there it is, sitting on your shelf, ready to be your financial savior.

 

But let’s be honest, Groceries doesn’t come alone; it bring an entourage. First is the water – the battleground for that epic struggle to get consistency. It’s either a Sahara Desert of Groceries or an Amazon River flood. There’s no in-between.

 

And then, the sweetener! Sugar, the consoling partner. But hold on, if you’re feeling fancy or just hit the “small riches,” there’s the optional fried fish. 

 

That’s right, Groceries’ version of a red carpet event, where you replace the groundnut, affectionately known as “Floating Berries,” with fried fish, and suddenly you’re living in the lap of luxury.

 

Now, about the whole “Garri dey blind eye” thing. It’s like a national conspiracy theory. We all know it’s as good for your eyes as a blindfold during a game of darts. 

 

But in the face of recent economic woes, the draconian subsidy villain. Who has the time for carrots and their fancy vitamin A? No matter how you put it, “Garri is the Sapa slayer.” We’ll happily squint into the future while munching on Groceries, thank you very much.

 

Garri is more than a food, it is a culture. It is the symbol of resilience, endurance, and survival. It is the bond that unites Nigerians across tribes, religions, and regions. It is the pride of our nation, the glory of our heritage, the essence of our identity.

 

All hail Groceries, the Sapa Slayer! Long may you reign